Moving in together is a big step in any relationship. It’s progress in your partnership but for you to enjoy all the benefits of living together, you have to be prepared for some changes. This doesn’t mean you have to give up all the good things in your life, it just means you have to adjust. So if you just moved in or are thinking about moving in together, here are the 8 changes you have to be ready for after moving in together… So you can be absolutely sure you made the right choice.
All in favor?
Once you move in together, there will be some decisions you gotta make. But – everybody has to agree on these changes after moving in together. If you’re going to bed at 2 am and your partner gets up at 6 am, there’s a big chance you’ll need to compromise your sleeping time. If you want to stay in a watch a movie and your partner is for late night partying, you will have to agree on something (go partying in Brooklyn, life is short). And this is just the beginning. By agreeing to move in together, you are probably agreeing on most of the things already but do make sure that the other side is on the same page as you so you.
Who pays what after moving in together
Are you renting a place together? Or are you moving into your partners’ apartment? Check it out, maybe you’re making the crucial moving mistakes. But whatever the situation is, you should split the bills either way. It is very important to determine who pays for what at the very moment you move in. Agree that each one of you gives around 20% of your salary to cover the common expenses. Or simply set up a budget and agree on who pays what right at the beginning. Also, save a little extra for unexpected costs (e.g. if a window breaks or your sinks gets clogged). Having a financial plan B will save you from potential problems in the future.
And who does what
Somebody likes it clean, and somebody, well, likes it less clean. This is always the case, so one has to accept a little mess and the other has to try more. This can be a real deal-breaker so determine who does what the very minute you move in. Who cleans and who does the chores? Who goes shopping and who cooks for dinner? There are many things that you need to agree on, so think about your duties carefully. Remember, you can always avoid breaking up by simply buying a dishwasher.
Party or PJs? How about a pajama party?
Maybe your partner likes to invite friends over on Friday night to watch the game. And you, on the other hand, do enjoy a glass of vine a good book while listening to classical music. Still, different lifestyles do not necessarily lead to a problem. You do need to agree what are your weekend plans and adjust it to your partners so you don’t get into an unnecessary fight. State clearly what are your needs and expectation and avoid potential misunderstandings.
Never go outside. Ever.
Bars, clubs, restaurants and even art galleries will see less of you two together – and believe it or not, the first choice will be to stay in. Because staying in and watching your (from now on) favorite TV series will be the party of a lifetime. It’s a couples’ thing and it’s what couples do. You will also change your cooking habits because now there’s two of you who are hungry. Trust us, ordering pizza will be on a whole new level of showing love to the partner who is too tired to cook.
Old fights will be ridiculous
…and new ones will be on a whole new level. Many couples discover there is a new world of miscommunication once you move in together. There are habits, rituals, patterns that need to be adjusted to the other human being. That’s why it can be hard at times because moving in means less privacy – and more company. If you have two homes, you have where to run. But that may not the option for everybody, so you will have to learn how to work your way around arguing. Or just to know when is the right time to go for a walk to calm down.
Communication is the key. And the door.
The significant other wants to keep its old Terminator 2 posters. You want a bigger closet – a much bigger closet. Yes, there are a lot of small problems that will appear once you move in together, starting on a very first day. No matter how strong your relationship is, living together can be tough while you are still adapting to the whole “common bathroom” situation. That’s why it is important to always listen to the other side and think about your partners’ feelings. And remember, compromising is not a bad thing. It’s adapting to new situations but not agreeing to something you do not want. Communicate and find a common ground where you feel safe to say how you feel and what you need.
Adjust to sex changes
Many couples complain about having less sex once they move in together. However, this doesn’t have to be the case with your relationship. It all boils down to spontaneity. The thing is that couples think if the sex isn’t spontaneous (and let’s face it, once you move in it cannot be such a surprise anymore), it’s not as exciting. But this is a big misconception. What’s wrong with planning to have sex in advance? Don’t guess when you will have time to spend some quality time together, plan it in advance and enjoy each others company to the fullest.
In the end, there will be many other changes after moving in together. Especially moving to Brooklyn when you already have children (or even grandchildren). But this is all the part of life. Remember that one day you may miss these small issues and enjoy your life together to the maximum. Good luck!